I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
