Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
