do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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