I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
