this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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