I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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