Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
