my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
