Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
