so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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