mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
