turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
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