can u get pink eye on your cock?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
He shit in the fireplace
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
