He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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