i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I just want nice things and good sex
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
