I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
