We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
