She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
