Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
