Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
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