It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
