remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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