we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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