literally had 100 drinks last night.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
