I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize
