We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Drake has all the answers
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
