i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
