Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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