i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
