Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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