You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
