Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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