he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
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