Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
That's when you crack a 10am beer
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
