What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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