So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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