dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
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