I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Do vagina's smell?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
