Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
