When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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