pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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