you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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