I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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