Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
