if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I CAN MOONWALK!
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
