No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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