can u get pink eye on your cock?
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
