There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
