im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
