I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
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