I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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